I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize