then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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