My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
