I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
