im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
