Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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