Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
