never play flip cup with pint glasses
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
