32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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