My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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