Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
