it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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