Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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