Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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