; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
