I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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