he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
