just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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