I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
