I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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