can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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