its not stalking. its research.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
