the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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