i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize