This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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