He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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