who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
