I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
