one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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