He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize