I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
