I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
