i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
