Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
try to milk me bitch
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