Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
