Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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