I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just cropdusted the office
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
