if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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