What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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