gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
