Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
