i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
