SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
