is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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