It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
