used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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