Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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