moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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