yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
