so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
