I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
