I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
There r osticjed everywhere
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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