is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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