at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
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