Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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