I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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