I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
