a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
