so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
