For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
