Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize