yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
