if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize