one two three fourrrrnication!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
