Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
