If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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