In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
