What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
