whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
