That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Someone signed my nipple.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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