Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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