You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
