Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
