Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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