never play flip cup with pint glasses
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
