I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
