his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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