Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ladies don't puke and tell
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
