that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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