Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There's always time for handjobs
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
