i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
