apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
