He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
